Mar 13, 2014

Jazygia 1996

The history of the Jazygian people reaches back to the 5th century BC. Then fell the thirteen walls of the great city of Jazygopolis, somewhere east of the Dniepr, and the tribes went searching for a new home.
Soon they settled in the Carpathian Basin, to resist the invasions of Late Romans, Gepids, Visigoths, Hipsterii, Marcomanns and finally yield to the Vengrian imperators. Thus was formed, of all the barbarian people of the realm, the Imperium of Vengria. But the Jazigs were not contended with these events, and plotted against the Imperator Quinctus Lucinius XVII the Brass-Eyed. A Jazygian agent poisoned the emperor, and during the interregnum the hordes started raiding the land, taking slaves and cattle from the undefended villagers. When Demetrius LXXVII the Steel-Balled went to war against the Princes of Hipsteria, the Jazgis plotted again and felled one of the seven great World Trees in the Basin, causing mayhem and destruction of unimaginable scale, until a hero named Geri the Barbarian stopped them and slayed the chieftan Magnutörk. 
The Jazygian tribes were expelled from the Imperium, and so the son of Magnutörk, Magnutörk began searching for aid in foreign courts, wandering all about Europe. He had married a Bohemian princess of some wealth, and gained reputation as a great swordsman. The family had lived quietly, nursing their lust for revenge throughout the centuries. The Buche Geche, the story of the ancient Jazygian mythology and lineage does not tell many details of the Princes of Jazygia until a certain Magnutörk, who was an Imperial mercenary in the Thirty Years War and was killed by the Hispanian José de Tabasco during the Battle of Tomato Fields.
His heir, Magnutörk, rose to govern a small princedom in the south named Schultze-Böhnstadt. He is considered the founder of the House of Jazygia, with thirteen Princepses, all noble governors of the state; until, at the time of the Franco-Prussian War, the current Princeps, Ebhard Magnutörk was imprisoned by the Hipsterian prince Luc du Latté. Ebhard managed to escape, but he and his Jazygian people were expelled again, this time from the thriving lands of Schultze-Böhnstadt.
The exodus lead the Jazygians, about 30,000 by number, to a small valley in the Balkans, claimed by no one but a few Székely shepherds. They soon prospered and built their first city, Magnuburg here: they annexed the nearby Székelyföld Autonomous Territory, fought their own little Balkan Wars, set the score with the invading Mordavian raiders in 1936, with the Visigoths in 1938; repulsed the Ahbanian aggression during the Second Great War; then came a time of relative peace while the great powers of the world stood guard against each other. The Jazygians 'chose' to be part of the Warsaw Pact and gained most of its military technology until the fall. 

In the early nineties, a rebellion rose in the neighbouring Roxolania, probably sparked by Kalmykian extremists. The Roxolans are related to the Jazigs, and the Prince-President Ebhard Magnutörk XIX. had intervened on the side of government; soon the president of Roxolania was killed and a coup was on its way to annex Roxolania and add it to the Jazygian realm. The loyalist army divisions, called the POPA (the President's Own Palace Army) joined the rebels and the nearby states, namely Mordavia and Visigothia, waiting their approval to join the NATO, were eager to intervene; so the Roxolanian conflict had become an international war. The year was 1996.


  1. very interesting!
    thanks for sharing.

  2. Death to Hipsters!!!!! :)

    (And those names... "The Steel Balled", you made my day.)

  3. LIke the imagi-nation stuff. keep it up!

  4. Brilliant stuff, looking forward to the national anthem !